The majority of the emotional pain we experience in life is due to our own baggage. The things we choose to hang onto without ever resolving them are what bring us down. If you find that you are making the same mistakes over and over again, or constantly getting yourself into situations that cause you the same kind of pain, try doing these three important things to change your life and help you release yourself from the bondage of pain.

#1 Forgive the one who hurt you

Almost every time we start feeling negative feelings towards someone, you can find the root cause of this anger in unforgiveness. It might not even be the person who you are becoming upset with who caused the initial pain, but they are doing something that reminds you of it and aggravates the wound. In order to heal those wounds we must forgive those who caused them. Otherwise it’s like you’re intentionally holding your wound open, preventing it from healing, and causing it to hurt you indefinitely in hopes that the other person will be hurt by it. It just doesn’t work that way.  I noticed that many people choose not to forgive someone because they feel that it sets themselves up for more pain, or maybe they think that by forgiving, they are saying what the other person did is ok. What the other person did to you is not ok, and forgiving them is not something you do for them, it’s something you do for yourself. You don’t have to let them hurt you anymore. That’s your choice, but by not forgiving them, your wound will never heal.

#2 Write about it

Sometimes we don’t know where the pain started, we don’t even know where the wound is. By writing down how you feel you can start to gather your thoughts and feelings on paper and look at them in a different way.  They become much easier to organize. Try to remember where you first started to feel a certain way, or maybe what this emotion reminds you of. What triggered it?  The more you write down, the more insight you will have and the easier it will be to release yourself and move forward.

#3 Forgive yourself

Take a moment and go find a mirror to look at yourself with. Look yourself dead in the eye and understand who it is you’re talking to. I know that this can be much harder than it sounds, but it must be done in order to heal. Once you have established a connection with yourself, audibly forgive yourself. Let yourself know it’s ok. You made a mistake, you hurt yourself by hanging on for so long. Tell yourself you will try your hardest to recognize this sooner in the future and let it go before it causes a problem.

None of the things here are easy to do. They are in fact quite difficult, and even seem impossible sometimes, but it’s worth it. Do yourself a favor and get started changing your life forever today. 😀