We are creatures perfectly designed with the ability built inside of us to adapt and change in any way we desire. Sometimes our changes are automatic, like sweating when you get too hot, and other times, the only way to make the changes is by sheer power of will.

I love that life is just a long string of adversities mixed with difficulty because it is constantly challenging us. Our ability to grow is what makes life so great! I am well aware that it can be difficult to see this for what it is. We always have something else to blame. As humans, we tend to believe that we were just born a certain way, that if something good happens to us, it must have just been luck.  We allow our past to define us and we often stick to this old way of believing and let it guide us for our entire lives, despite our unhappiness with it because we feel that it is totally out of our control.

These are just limiting beliefs. The good news is, you don’t have to just accept that your life is the way it is, and that the growth and change that you desire IS totally within your control. What you believe is so important to getting what you want out of life that even if you have a specific goal with a timeline, and a well formed plan, but you don’t believe you can actually accomplish it, you never will.  Often, it is lack of faith in the possibility something can actually go right that keeps people clinging to their limiting belief system. We often use our own failures as a way affirm what we ACTUALLY believed all along – that it wasn’t possible.

Think about this. Last time you drove down a certain road and caught all of the lights red, did you think to yourself or tell others, I always catch all the lights red. Did the person you told tell you, “Yeah, those traffic lights are horrible!” affirming your negative belief even further? And what about that one person who says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I always catch all the lights green!” Do you believe this person or do you just write it off in your mind.  You see when two or more people agree on something, it really becomes solidified in our minds and becomes real to us, whether it is positive or negative. I think this is what the bible is talking about (Matthew 18:19).

If the first thing that popped into your head is that you can’t control the traffic lights therefore that example is invalid, you might be limiting your beliefs. (yes, it’s true, we cannot control the traffic lights unless we are the one setting the dials, but if you really pay attention, you might see you aren’t actually ALWAYS catching ALL the lights red, but that’s just how you are choosing to remember it because you’re not allowing yourself to see anything else.)

Ask yourself these questions as a better test:

  • How have you managed change in the past?
  • Were you able to adapt quickly and easily or did you allow feelings of negativity and helplessness hold you back and keep you from making changes before you could move forward?
  • How open are you try trying new things? When is the last time you did?
  • How difficult is it for you to change a habit or develop a new one?
  • When is the last time you set a goal? Did you follow through to the end?
  • What is failure to you?

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At this point, the best thing you can do is accept that change and growth really is a decision that you make. You can either choose to believe that you have no control over what happens and this is just the way it is or you can choose to believe that you can do something about your situation, learn to grow and be in control of your life.

If you have decided and chosen to believe you do have control over your life, then you are on the right path to having everything you desire. The next thing you need to do is make the commitment and intentional actions towards growth and change.  This is almost never easy! Everything around us seems to work against us and tries to keep us in our limiting belief system.

  • You must believe that change is possible
  • You must have the strong desire and intent to change (from the heart)
  • You absolutely must believe that the advantages of this change outweigh the disadvantages
  • What you desire to change must be consistent with your core self image, your core values, and your highest priorities (if what you want to change is different than how you view yourself, then you must change how you view yourself first. If it is inconsistent with your core values, then you will never be able to sustain this change.)
  • There must be no restrictive environmental constraints (you must not be surrounded with naysayers)

Do you really want to bring purposeful change to your life or just let your life flow wherever the wind blows?

If a ship sets sail from the harbor, but has no direction to head, no destination, and no plan, you can be 100% certain that it will never arrive. It will just wander the seas aimlessly, never going any place that it might be happy, until it inevitably sinks. Is that how you really want to live your life?

It’s easy to jump on a ship and set it out to see, but to actually get somewhere, you need a direction, you need a plan, and you need to believe that you will make it.  The seas will not always be calm, when a storm blows you off course, you must reset your course to stay on track, but as long as you maintain your belief that you can make it, reset and keep going, you will make it wherever it is you desire to go.

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