You have to know exactly what your expectations are, or else you’re just setting yourself up for failure.
What exactly is managing expectations? Why do we, all too often, attempt to manage our expectations? Maybe we really mean, manage our disappointment?
Usually, when we find something really good could happen to us we become really excited! All too often, however, it seems things don’t work out just the way we imagined they would and we feel let down and disappointed. Luckily, most of us have come up with a nifty technique to keep that feeling of disappointment from coming on too strongly. We simply tell ourselves that we are “managing our expectations.” We become “cautiously optimistic”, as lawyers and doctors often word it.
That’s bullshit. What does that even mean? It means that you’re not sure of yourself and your abilities. It means that you’re afraid things won’t work out the way you want them to. It simply means, not only do you not know, but you have no idea what the outcome will be.
This is why before you can even manage your expectations you have to know exactly what your expectations are, or else you’re just setting yourself up for failure. It’s like making a hypothesis in science, you really can only have one expectation. You should never say, “My hypothesis is if I water these plants 5x a day they will either grow really tall and strong and be the best plants ever or they will die.” You must have a clearly defined single expected outcome per variable because if you start adding in more outcomes then what you’re really saying is, “I have no idea what’s going to happen, I hope it’s something good!”
No one should live their life being so unsure of themselves that everything they do and everything that happens to them is based on hope. “I hope this works.” I can tell you from first hand experience that hoping something is going to work does not increase your odds of success by any amount. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes hope is all you’ve got, but most of the time there is something you can do about it.
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes hope is all you’ve got, but most of the time there is something you can do about it.
In order for you to be able to increase your odds of success and eliminate your odds of disappointment, you have to change the way you think about things entirely. As an entrepreneur, I’ve had to learn that the the only time someone truly fails, is when they give up. If something doesn’t work out just the way I planned, I don’t go in a corner and cry somewhere. Instead, I do 1 of 2 things. First, I look back and try to figure out if I did everything that I could to the best of my ability and if the answer is no, I go back and try again with a different approach. If I did everything I could to the best of my ability, and it still didn’t work out, that just means that I haven’t found what I was looking for yet, so I simply pivot and change direction.
That’s all you have to do to manage your expectations. Have a very clear idea of what it is your are trying to accomplish. Do not become so emotionally attached that you are unable to let go and pivot. The only time you should ever be disappointed about something not working out, is if you didn’t give it your all because the more you give to something, the more things you eliminate that could make it fail. The great news is, if you have eliminated everything you possibly could, all you have to do is pivot and change direction slightly and try again! If you truly understand this, you will never have to manage your expectations again. Pass or Fail, you will never disappoint yourself.
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